Daily Quickie: Old News Ain’t Cold News

Why did this never make the mainstream news channels? Not only do I not sympathize with the war in Iraq, but it doesn’t seem like they’re really trying to change my mind. With more stories like this, I just might. (AFTER an election.)

All Shapes And Sizes

Should be the same, regardless of what store I’m shopping in, what brand I’m buying from, no? I mean, 34 inches is 34 inches, is 34 inches. Unless it’s sized with letters in which case a medium is a medium, is a medium. So why do I have so much trouble buying pants? The jeans I get from my favourite store (solely because I like their style and everything I ever bought there fits; I know my exact size in every single item they sell) are a size 34 every single time. Sure, they might fit a little tiny bit big or a little tiny bit small, because this is life and nothing’s perfect and when you’re producing several thousand pairs of jeans a day, there are going to be discrepencies between pairs. And, in fact, there are a few other stores from which I can buy size 34 pants and they will fit nicely. Perfectly, even. Yet more often than not I have so much trouble buying pants. The thing about buying mens’ clothes is that once you know your size, you theoretically never have to try on another item of clothing unless you lose or gain weight or muscle. Theoretically. If I walk into my favourite store (and no, I’m not telling you what it is) I know that if I grab a medium tee-shirt, a size 34 pair of pants and a pair of medium boxers, they will all fit. I don’t have to try them on. Ever. But now, I keep running into problems where I go into a store and their size 34 is 2-4 inches too small. 2-4 inches! That’s like three of my stubby fingers or the width of my hand at its widest. That’s a massive discrepency. Is 34 inches not a universal measurement? I thought that’s what the Imperial measurement system was all about, uniformity. And the metric system. Apparently not.

So today I got a new uniform from my employer. The uniform consists of a funky hat, a neck scarf, an apron (because real men wear aprons), black pants and a shirt that looks like a chef’s jacket. Everything is supplied by the employer. The neck scarf, apron and hat are all a universal ‘one size fits all’, and it seems to be true. The jacket/shirt actually is a size larger than I usually get (they didn’t have any mediums left, and who knows when the next shipment will come in, hopefully soon) and so I figured, “well, I’ll take it back in tomorrow and just wear a white shirt when I go to work until they get mediums in.” Because hell, I still had the rest of the uniform. But then when I found the pants (a 34) to be 4 1/2″ too small….well…I was screwed. The only reason I got a uniform today was because I don’t own black pants or anything like black pants. I’m a little bewildered at how the pants can be 4 1/2″ too small.

So what have I got to do to get a pair of pants that fit? Well, as I will most likely be working Thursday, I have to go back into work tomorrow and ask for a pair of 34s, 36s and 38s, because I honestly have no idea what size will be even near a regular size 34. I then have to beg them to let me use their public washroom so I can try them on without having to cross the store 5 times to get to the break room.

The bottom line is that I think it’s entirely unfair that pants aren’t standardized. And yes, this definitely belongs in the “International Crime and Conflict” category.

- Shae